Retired Major Bobby Charles remembers wishing someone would break into his house just so he could shoot the intruder with his 9-mm pistol. The dark thoughts, a premonition, and his commander’s intervention convinced him to get help for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Although he’d known for months he couldn’t cope, Bobby ignored the signs. During the day, he buried himself in his work with the Army Medical Recruiting Command Brigade at Ft. Knox, Kentucky. At night, isolated and missing his wife, Mary, he drank, trying to forget his time in Salerno, Afghanistan, from 2007-2008.
“I was trained to do what I did but seeing people with partially blown-off faces and amputated limbs…the smells of diesel fuel and burned flesh…they never leave you,” says Bobby, who served as an officer in charge of emergency medical treatment at a combat support hospital near the Pakistan border.
“They wear you out, especially when you’ve done all you can do. I was physically exhausted,” he says. “My injured brain could take only so much.”
Wanting to transfer closer to Mary, who was then caring for her ailing mother in the Washington, D.C. area, the request fell through, and the hallucinations began. He had a premonition of his own death. “He just fell apart,” Mary says, softly.
Bobby’s Story
Hearing the details of Bobby’s experiences saddened me. As did the specifics of his struggle with PTSD.
If you knew this man, you’d understand why.
Of all my husband’s college friends, Bobby has remained among my favorites. Always hopeful. Always smiling. He accepts challenges without hesitation, finding opportunities to make a difference.
After college, he managed a camp for disadvantaged kids in Greensboro, North Carolina, and then taught inner-city toughs through the Outward Bound program. As the founder of an experiential travel company, he hiked and climbed mountains around the globe.
His adventures never stopped.
When his travel company organized a trip to Moscow just a couple of years after the Berlin Wall fell, Bobby’s enthusiasm convinced me and my brother to go. We ended up celebrating July 4 inside a Moscow apartment, eating delicious food and toasting our new Russian friends with shots of vodka.
Surreal.
More surreal, however, was the late-night stroll down Moscow’s famed Arbat Street.
Bobby and our hosts showed no fear when a thug flashed a knife or when an elderly Georgian woman approached, fearful for her life. Bobby escorted her to safety. The relief played all over her face as she thanked and hugged him, Bobby’s rubles clutched in her hand.
Within a few years, Bobby had switched gears. He enrolled in and graduated from nursing school, worked as an emergency-room nurse, and learned therapeutic massage. In 2006, he announced he’d joined the Army Nurse Corps.
He was 52 years old, and no one blinked an eye. If anyone could pass basic training and outperform men and women half his age, Bobby could.
And did.
A Doctor’s Callous Disregard
From their home in Wyoming, Bobby continues his story. He keeps the conversation light, reminiscing about his early career, globetrotting, and military training with some of the nation’s fiercest special-operations warriors.
His voice changes, though, when he begins describing the event he believes contributed primarily to his PTSD—a doctor’s callous disregard for the Hippocratic Oath he swore to uphold.
It happened in September 2008, just two weeks before the end of Bobby’s one-year deployment. He was war weary and ready to go home, but thought he’d performed his job well.
That day, Medevac helicopters delivered eight Afghan kids, all requiring above-and-below knee amputations caused by unexploded ordinance. The triage team assessed one boy’s injury as a priority, but the attending physician said no. The severely injured boy would wait until he finished operating on the others.
Bleeding out, the boy’s blood pressure tanked. Bobby went back to the doctor, again urging him to treat his patient at once. Now enraged, the doctor cursed Bobby and told him to give the boy fluids.
“He never gave that kid a chance,” Bobby says, emphatically. Although the doctor eventually treated him, the boy didn’t survive. “It was a disaster, and I was angry. I wanted to blow the guy’s head off.” That’s when the doctor revealed his true heart: “‘I’m not here to save Afghans.’”
The doctor remained true to his word, too.
Whether purposely or negligently, the doctor and his team left shrapnel inside wounds suffered by Afghans—something that hadn’t happened before his arrival. Hospital staff members had always treated patients with equal care and even risked their lives establishing a clinic outside the U.S. wire.
Bobby shut down, struggling to reconcile the doctor’s behavior with the values he held regarding the sanctity of life. “When I got home from deployment, I remember telling Mary, ‘I feel like something evil has crawled inside of me.’”
And all he could see in his mind’s eye was the face of that doctor.
The Recovery
The darkness has receded, thanks to PTSD treatment at Walter Reed Hospital, Mary’s loving care, and his 11-year-old service dog, Tobi. “She knows when I’m going down the rabbit hole,” he says of his Labrador Retriever. Even so, the sound of helicopters, the smell of barbecued meat, and the sight of flag-draped coffins still trigger him.
“The difference now is I have learned to train my brain,” Bobby says. “There really is no cure for PTSD. I have coping skills to deal with things that used to trigger me.”
Just as important, he says, is a basic tenet of his Christian faith. For too long, “I let that doctor take up residence in my head. I needed to forgive him.”
The Next Challenge
These days, Bobby is facing yet another challenge, but believes his combat PTSD uniquely prepared him for it.
In 2018, after years of enduring stomach pain, his doctors diagnosed a rare form of cancer called neuroendocrine. When he received the stage-four diagnosis, Mary cried, and his doctor looked shocked. “I said praise the Lord,” Bobby says, laughing. “Now I know what I’m dealing with.”
Typical Bobby.
“You have to start with what you believe in and rely on that,” Bobby says, telling me the disease has since stabilized, although tiny tumors still dot his bones and soft tissue. “I thank God for every waking moment. It’s not good to live in a PTSD or a cancer brain. Hell’s a bad place to pitch a tent.”
God love and keep you, Bobby, my unvanquished friend. You are my hero.
God bless him and all who serve. Another great story. Thank you for sharing his
Thank you for your wonderful narrative about our friend Bobby Charles . He is not only my fraternity brother but, a lifelong friend of some 50 years now . I met him at 14-15 years old in of all places a baptist church where we both grew up . He became one of my “running buddies “ alongside Greg Lomax , Richard McKenzie and Greg Scruggs . We shared a lot of adventures and interesting times together and love each other to this day . I know many of the stories you described as well as some others but, can’t read them or listen to them without shedding a few tears. When I thank God for my blessings, I always remember my lifelong friend Bobby because he is my hero and someone I proudly point to as the epitome of American courage and sacrifice . Thank you for your beautifully written narrative about Bobby Charles …….American hero .
Dick Cann
Beautifully said, Dick. I got goosebumps reading your comment. He is surely loved and admired. Please feel free to share his story. I want everyone to read about a true hero.
Janet, thanks for reading. Bobby is a remarkable person, someone you want on your side.
Yes Janet, we have some many heroes who have stepped up to serve their country. Many who also suffer from invisible combat wounds. Thank you for your support and understanding. Bobby
Thanks Dickie Cann and Debbie Hughes for your kind and thoughtful words. You two have certainly had front row seats to the Bobby Charles show! Your friendship is priceless and has carried light on many dark days. Thank you. Bobby
Bobby – what an amazing journey you’ve had! Thank you for your dedicated service to our Country, and your devotion to helping so many. I recently found this college pix in my album – taken around 1975-1976 – I believe this was at a party I hosted – May you get well quickly so you can continue of your unique life adventure
Love Jean Branthover Benham
Jean, thanks for taking the time to comment. Unique life adventure? Absolutely. Bobby is truly one of the most interesting persons I know.
God Bless Bobby and the service men and women ..i pray hard often for this situation and the hell that our administration is delivering them and their families into ..thank you Lori
Good man. It was a pleasure sharing his story.
Thanks Lisa I believe prayers are answered and appreciate yours. Bobby
Bob Charles! – How much can you love someone who changes your life for the better with everything he does and says? This is how much I love and adore my dear friend Bob! Hope you make a documentary about Bob to inspire a million more lives. God Bless you for sharing!
Karen, it was a privilege writing about him. Thank you so much for your kind words.
Godspeed Bob and Mary! Neighbors and the best of friends for years in Maryland, we still miss you. Not a day goes by I don’t look over to your house and remember all our shared meals and love between us for our kids and grands- and each other. So glad you are healing.
Diane, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I’m going to make sure Bobby reads these comments. He’s loved!
Agree with you Lori. Of all the fraternity brothers, Bobby has always been one of my favs. I love his love for life, compassion for humankind and his amazing kindness. Thanks to you and Bobby for allowing us to hear his story and know this wonderful man.❤️
Thank you for sharing it. Everyone needs to know Bobby!
My dear friend Karen Powell introduced me to Bob Charles!! He was an intriguing man! So interesting and caring, serving his country and those who needed him. He helped me with my pain and I missed his service after his move from MD. God bless you for writing and sharing this story of a great man!! Bob Charles has touched so many lives!!
Debra, I just texted Bobby. Told him he needed to drop by the website later today to read all the comments. Thank you so much for sharing your story here.
Karen and Debbie, thank you for your support and prayers. I also miss my clients in Maryland and the opportunity to bring a pain free day into their lives. I am slowly getting used to being on the patient side of the bandaid! God bless. Bobby
Lori, Your skill at capturing the essence of the “story” and sharing it with others is truly a gift from God. I am deeply grateful for what you have done to recognize and reveal the insidious affects of PTSD on an individual’s life and the efforts they have made to overcome and succeed. You asked “What was it like”? Then you listened and wrote it down and sent it back to me! You and your pen are healers. Thank you. Love Bobby
As much as I’d like to take credit, I know better. All praise and glory go to God and his healing hands.
Diane, Mary and I also have fond memories of our “time on the bay” with you and Jim. Thank you for your kind words of support. Bobby
Bobby has been our family friend for 62 years. His family and my family were neighbors on Madison Street in Riverdale. The Charles’ family had lived on the street for several years before my family moved there. Bobby and my brother were the same age; and as they hung out together for years, they became “partners in neighborhood mischief.” You wouldn’t think Bobby was mischievous if he were with his mother and father…he was the perfect angel. But away from them, the commotion he and my brother caused was unimaginable. We laugh now at their antics and “pranks” bc we can’t believe they were that brazen to do what they did. Bobby was the best man at our wedding in 1972 and he celebrated with us at our 25th wedding anniversary. We lost touch with Bobby until 3 years ago when Richard McKenzie gave us his telephone number and we talked with Bobby for 1 1/2 hours. We had the best afternoon one day this past summer when he and Mary stopped by for lunch; we reminisced abt the days growing up in Riverdale. Bobby also went back to the old stomping ground. He and my brother laughed abt the trouble they caused. We also learned that my husband crabbed for years in front of Bobby’s house on the water. The crab feasts we could’ve had had we known Bobby was so close!! I tear up reading this article bc we did not know the experiences Bobby endured while serving as a medic in the military. it shows those of us who know Bobby that he is a courageous and compassionate human being. Bob and Hazel Charles would be most proud of their son. We are truly honored and fortunate to have Bobby as our friend. We thank him for his service to our country and wish him and Mary a peaceful life in the West.
Thanks Joanne you and Billy are dear friends. I never mentioned the effects of combat because like most veterans we just don’t talk about it. Besides I didn’t want to change your image of me as a “lil Rascal” of Riverdale. Thank you for your kind words and give your mom a hug for me. She was like my mom too! Bobby
Lori,
What a wonderful article about your friend Bobby. This story has a special place on my heart since my son is a young Marine pilot stationed in Okinawa, Japan. I hope your friend Bobby wins his battle with cancer and fights hard to overcome his ptsd. Thank you for serving our country and helping others. You are one of the heroes.
Greta, Thank you for your words of encouragement and support. As a parent of a deployed service member I send you a special thank you for the sacrifices your family accepts to serve our country. The best to your Marine for a successful mission. Bobby
Thank you, Bobby, for responding to those who sent their best wishes. I’m sure they weren’t expected. And thank you, readers, for taking the time to offer him your kind thoughts.
Bobby Charles is perhaps the finest person I have ever known. From the moment I met him at the SAE house at U of MD, I knew he was a friend for life, and he has been. Aren’t we so fortunate to have this amazing man in our lives?!
Lori’s beautifully written story made me cry from hurting for him and also cry from loving him.
Ann, when were you at Maryland? Maybe our paths crossed. I want to thank you for sharing your experience with Bobby. I know it means a lot to him. Take care.
Ann, Thank you so much for your warm and kind words! Yes we have known each other for almost 50 years! You, Pat and your family have always supported my numerous life’s “adventures” and choice to enter the army. Your friendship is priceless and I cherish it’s endurance over time. Wishing you all a joyous Thanksgiving season. Bobby
The world is a better place with people like Bobby in it. I hope he fully recovers.
You don’t know the half of it. Never say never is his motto in life.
Bobby and Lori,
Thank you for sharing your story so that everyone understands the worst and best sides of humanity. You have experienced both tears and smiles. Many times in the same day.
Bobby has been an important part of my life and Mary Virginia’s life. We helped each other stay in college and after graduation, we drove cross country for several months. By way of the U of M to Piney Lake in North Carolina, through many visits home, we were able to watch our families grow. Bobby was the best man in our wedding and our daughter, Eileen’s Godfather. My parents attended Bobby’s military installation on the steps of our US Capitol steps.
Almost 50 years have passed since we first met and our friendship is one of the most important gifts to us. A gift which just keeps on giving!
We even have been entrusted with Tobi’s
care on several occasions! What an honor!
Bobby and Mary show us how to grab life and how to live it. Thank you both.
Love and prayers to all.
Mike and Mary Virginia
Mike, thanks for your tribute to your friend of 50 years. Best to you and MV.