God Didn’t Make Her Sick; Anxiety Did

At first, Christina McDaniel thought a virus or a recently kicked tobacco habit had caused her nasty, persistent cough. But the weight loss and night sweats? Clearly, something was wrong. Eventually, she would discover the problem along with another truth: God didn’t make her sick. Anxiety did.

And now she’s on a mission to help others break the emotional chains that had controlled her life, so much so, in fact, that she believes they had contributed to her getting Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a type of cancer that affects the body’s germ-fighting immune system.

“I don’t believe God gave me cancer. He used it to bring me to my knees,” Christina told me from her home in Cheney, Washington, a small city east of Seattle. She’s emerged from the experience no longer an anxious, fearful people-pleaser, but a woman finally at peace, confident in her faith. 

A Possible Link

Forty-one-year-old Christina is an insurance broker, mom of three, and the author of From Sickness to Light. “I had started writing in the beginning of this to help clear my head and ease anxiety, and ultimately felt God call me to put it into a book. I thought it might help someone with a cancer diagnosis,” she said. 

But those who’ve read her book believe it serves an additional, perhaps more important purpose: “It is helping them recognize their anxieties and expose some of the ways fear is controlling their lives too.”

To be clear, stress doesn’t mean you’ll get cancer or that your cancer will return. 

However, research shows that anxiety—especially the long-term, no-end-in-sight variety—weakens your immune system and can inhibit a process called anoikis, which kills diseased cells and prevents them from spreading, according to the MD Anderson Cancer Center at the University of Texas. 

Chronic stress also increases the production of certain growth factors that increase your blood supply. This can speed the development of malignant tumors. 

As medical imaging would reveal, Christina’s cancerous tumor had grown in the exact spot where she’d always carried stress: her chest. Because a large amount of fluid had filled the lining of her right lung, her doctor urged her to go to the hospital. 

Immediately.

Three biopsies later, the diagnosis came in and talk of chemotherapy and radiation soon ensued. 

So did the fear and uncertainty. 

Where the Fear Began

Anxiety, as Christina told me, wasn’t new to her. 

She often felt alone, angry, consumed with fears that people would reject her . . . a feeling that took root at the age of five when her father committed suicide. “The blame, the hurt.” In her mind, her father had chosen death over her, compounding her fears of rejection.

“I don’t think I ever allowed myself to say this is how my father’s suicide affected me,” Christina continued, “and it affected me for a lot longer than I realized.”

She became a quintessential people-pleaser, among other things, and sometimes placed too much faith in people who didn’t have her best interests at heart. 

The Turning Point

God didn’t make her sick. Anxiety did. And deep in her soul, she knew the use of toxic medicines, like chemo and radiation, could cause lasting damage especially to her already compromised lungs.

“It took divine intervention to get my doctor to approve an alternative treatment,” she said. 

But she had to do something first.

She had to let go of her fear and need to control every situation in her life, a reaction to the traumatic loss of her father that threw her family into chaos. 

“I would ultimately hand my fate over to God,” Christina continued. “He stepped in and took over my treatment and blessed me with being able to do only three rounds of a new immunotherapy treatment called Keytruda.” 

Last February, scans indicated that the alternative approach had worked. 

She is cancer free.

Christina’s Epilogue

Christina’s journey continues.

She never thought that cancer would be the thing that saved her. But in a sense it did. It forced her to let go and rely on God, who is far bigger than she is. 

“I am healed,” Christina wrote in her epilogue. “God came through for me in a major way . . . I would make a point moving forward to share my testimony with anyone willing to listen to it, and I would give, show, and share love to anyone that I would cross paths with.”

God didn’t make her sick. Anxiety did. 

But that’s behind her now. “I have been on an amazing spiritual journey of healing, growth, and freedom.”

~~~

Fear, which Christina attributed to her cancer, is a powerful emotion. In my debut novel, Always Think of Me, the protagonist, TC, experiences his own fears. I’ll say no more. You can order a hard copy, eBook, or audio book at Amazon and other online bookstores.