Do You Know the Real You?

Do you know the real you?

At one point, Linda Goldfarb, a well-known speaker, book narrator, coach, actress, author, and podcaster, didn’t know the real Linda.

This big-boned, funny gal, with an amazing set of buck teeth, a recurrent skin rash, and hands large enough to easily palm a football (she threw the perfect spiral), hid behind her gift of humor because she never wanted anyone seeing her insecurities.

A friend saw through the disguise. “Linda, why do you always become someone else?” Her friend asked as Linda performed a riotous Elvis impersonation. “Have I ever known the real you?” 

Linda couldn’t answer.

The Journey to Discovery Begins

And so began her journey of acceptance and discovery that made possible her 40-year-old career as a communicator. She’s also dedicated herself to helping others discover their God-given gifts and personality traits through a program she helped develop, the LINKED^®Personality System. (More on that later.)

Make no mistake. Linda, who emceed the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference a few weeks ago, is a hoot. She has perfect comedic timing, an animated face. She’s fast on her feet and her big personality fills auditorium-sized rooms. Everyone wants to hang with Linda.

But now she uses her humor to communicate, not to protect herself or hide from her lack of confidence and self-perceived flaws. Frankly, it’s hard to believe this accomplished funny lady didn’t understand or know the real Linda earlier in life. 

But she didn’t…perhaps like you. Are you being the real you?

What About Fear

“I wasn’t on target for what God intended for my life,” Linda told us during her keynote speech—Staying Real about FEAR—at the writers conference. “I would never be petite… even on my knees.” 

Linda went to prayer and surrendered her will to God’s will. She wanted Him preeminent in her life, more so than even her husband and four children. “I woke up the next morning and my life was changed. Everything became new and fresh.” 

As she got real about who she was, not the woman she wanted or thought she should be, Linda could get real about the fears that had undermined her confidence and sense of value. 

Fear As an Acronym

Even today, living her life as she believes God has intended, Linda admitted fear creeps in daily. Where does this fear come from? Linda uses as acronym:

• Failure. Fear of letting someone down, including God and yourself.
• Expectations: Fear of falling short because you’ve expected too much of yourself. Yes, all things are possible with God, Linda said, but it’s God’s will, not yours.
• Anointing. Fear of not hearing God correctly, thus ignoring His true calling on your life. “This is where you are to live,” Linda said. “It’s the sweet spot.”
• Respect. Fear that you might be invisible or undeserving of respect.

Get REAL!

Do any of these fears creep into your consciousness? If so, it’s time to get real, Linda said. The simple fact is that you’ve been born for such a time as this and are equipped with talents, including a personality, that will carry you through. 

“God’s plans for our lives are bigger than anything we can imagine,” Linda said. Fear needs to be defused and ignored. “Move into your next best,” she said.

Her advice:

• Rebuke damaging self-talk and a negative mindset. 
• Engage in the process. Discover your passions and put them to work. 
• Autograph your work by claiming God at work in you.  
• Lead as a servant. Serve more, seek less.

Do You Know the Real You?

Fear sometimes shackles me, too. And now, like Linda many, many years ago, I’m not sure I know the real me.

Earlier, I mentioned LINKED^® Personalities, the system Linda helped develop with co-author Linda Gilden. The two Lindas wanted to offer their readers, audiences, and coaching clients a fresh look at personalities and help them live and grow in their strengths. Their assessment and books are geared to general audiences, educators, parents, and couples.

I took the 26-question personality assessment and came away shocked. 

Of the system’s four personality types—mobilizer (gets everything done), socializer (life of the party), stabilizer (maintains peace), and organizer (keeps everything in order), I tested highest on the third—the stabilizer.

What? The person who maintains peace? No. That’s not me. For my entire life, I thought of myself as the type who gets everything done. Ask my sisters!

But after looking at the characteristics, I started seeing myself differently. I do like doing things the easy way and appreciate respect and feeling worthy. I do like peace and quiet and become distracted when life turns chaotic.

Under specific circumstances, we can adopt different personalities, Linda explained. The LINKED^® system simply reveals where you feel most comfortable, at peace and relaxed. Your happy place.

I guess I didn’t know the real me. Do you know the real you?